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2007 -
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| HAUNTED ATTRACTION | REVIEW | ||||||||||||||||
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INDUSTRIAL NIGHTMARE:
The
Haunt offers a comparable beginning to past years, with a short, dark maze
leading to the queue line area. Housed in a museum-like environment,
authentic recreations from various horror movies feature realistic likenesses
of Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Frankenstein, etc.
Count
Dracula's red eyes illuminate signaling your imminent entrance through
the double doors, and into Industrial Nightmare. First up
is a mad scientist's laboratory, adorned with every electronic gadget imaginable.
Strapped to an operating table of sorts, "Frankenstein" begins thrashing
about violently, setting up a startling surprise! Similarities
to past seasons end here, as from this point forward, basically the entire
haunt has been rebuilt with fresh, new, scarier scenes! Presumably
dead bodies shake, and emit smoke, a headless torso convulses in agony
from its recent decapitation, while other corpses suddenly sit up on their
own. Toxic waste barrels, and a regurgitation scene line the narrowed
corridors, and a bathroom stall encounter delivers a horrific surprise!
In the bowels of the facility resides an enormous, animated, Impaler-like
swamp monster, and another creature attacking from the surrounding waters.
The SURPRISE OF THE YEAR lies just ahead in the Industrial Nightmare
swamp! Exiting the quagmire leads to convincing reconstructions from
various horror movies. The theme from Halloween creepily sets
the stage for Michael Myers to unleash an attack from inside a legitimate
looking wood cabin. Sparks, lasers, air gun blasts, and plentiful
characters are still to come, one of whom profoundly shouts nerve-racking
warnings like, "You're gonna die!!!" An interactive feature waits
just ahead, as ringing the doorbell outside another genuine structure produces
an added surprise, then step inside for an up close and personal confrontation
with the ax wielding Jason Voorhees! Additional silver screen rendezvous
involve Freddie Krueger in a realistically fabricated boiler room,
and
Pinhead near the escape from Industrial Nightmare.
Analysis:
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DEMENTIONS: Completely
rebuilt from scratch, Dementions' new location is directly alongside
Industrial
Nightmare, and is included with paid admission to the aforementioned
attraction. Clowns and red-eyed skeletons initiate you into the deranged
experience, where a terrifying engagement with The Puppet Master from
the Saw movies unexpectedly sends you plunging "downward" in an
intensified, music blaring, prolonged elevator entrapment that persists
until the doors finally open, sending you into "The Ring of Fire"
- a fast spinning vortex. Distraught happenings continue when walls
come crashing in around you, and lead to a double MAJOR surprise, followed
by an encounter with a twisted Pig Butcher, who's just slaughtered
a couple of humans, and hung their carved up torsos from meat hooks!
Scary music, mazes, chainsaws, and caskets introduce another demented adventure,
haunted by a maniacal gravedigger, who suddenly appears out of nowhere!
An abominable, blood soaked Christmas scene sheds new light on the holidays,
as the celebration showcases an evil, ax wielding Santa, in the presence
of falling snow. Rudolph's been massacred, and his stuffed head now
hangs on display like a trophy above the corrupt Claus' fireplace!
Sing along with the carolers, "That's the way the old s*it happens!
Fa, la, la, la, laaaa, la, la, la, la!!!" Think you've seen it all?
Not quite, as evil clowns, a sexy bathtub scene, tortures and executions
all deliver their own brands of demented horrors, building up to a multiple
chain-saw chase out of Dementions.
Analysis:
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PITCH
BLACK (includes CAGE MAZE): As its
name implies, Pitch Black is a totally dark maze featuring numerous,
deep dead ends, and shocking surprises - literally! Relocated to
the basement of the Industrial Nightmare complex, the mazes have
been completely rebuilt this year, with a mysterious entrance that descends
into the depths of the facility Emotions spiral to near fever pitch,
as you wander around aimlessly in the darkness. Accompanying sounds
are deafening at times, and hardly noticeable at others, which only adds
to your discomfort. With only faint glimpses of light here and there,
all you can do is feel your way along. Meanwhile, monsters grab at
your legs, and serve up random startles without warning, and you never
know where they come from because you simply cannot see! Nervousness
sets in almost immediately, then increases in intensity, and finally soars
to near panic levels the longer you're lost in the maze. Several
unexpected happenings accompany the futility of your efforts in the form
of spraying mist, last season's SURPRISE OF THE YEAR, and another NEW surprise
you gotta see to believe! Eventually progressing to the one and only
exit of Pitch Black leads directly into Cage Maze, a fog-filled,
fence entanglement, also consisting of a multitude of dead ends, as well
as loops. Highly agitated characters energetically leap and climb
on the fences, all the while taunting, "You ain't leavin' here!"
and, "You ain't gettin' outta here...EVER! I promise you, you'll
never make it out!" Their distractions, along with bumping into other
lost souls, and combined with your own emotional unrest don't make things
any easier. Maybe they're right. Perhaps you won't ever make
it out of Cage Maze - alive!
Analysis:
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INDUSTRIAL
NIGHTMARE COMPLEX - OVERALL EXPERIENCE: A
lot of hard work evidenced here, as all three haunts have either been completely
or partially moved or redesigned. Combining
Industrial
Nightmare
& Dementions would result in near perfection.
Some of the most ingenious ideas of the season rest inside these walls,
as some of the latest technology is carried one step further, and used
in ways even their developers could never have imagined! Congregating
all these brilliant attractions at a single location positively impacts
its overall performance. Make sure you schedule a visit to
Industrial
Nightmare this Halloween season!
OVERALL RATING: 9½ |
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OHIO
STATE REFORMATORY HAUNTED PRISON EXPERIENCE: Quite
possibly the most intimidating haunt around from a visualization standpoint.
A video trailer from the movie Fallen Angels, filmed at The Reformatory
accompanies the queue line. Ascending a spooky looking staircase,
where paint etches of the walls introduces this years Haunted Prison
Experience, billed as The Night They Came Home. Overwhelmingly
loud sounds and music last the duration of the adventure. Endless
mechanical surprises, and irate monsters begin to descend upon you from
all directions. Sparks begin flying, and chainsaws rev up as the
all out assault grabs onto you and won’t let go! Death row inmates
suffer the fate of an electric chair, while other desperate convicts come
crawling out of darkened corners on all fours in search of any possible
means of escape. Deafening alarms lead through a lightless, body
bag maze, and downstairs, where a vicious fiend armed with a power tool
lurks in the shadows, and an onslaught of knife-packing, wickedly laughing
killer clowns are anxious to pick up wherever he leaves off. Blinding
strobes, powerful blasts of air, and more sinister sounds drag you through
a torture room, where death fills the air, and into the cellblocks themselves.
Row after row, story upon story, of awe inspiring confinements dominate
your surroundings. Whispers in your ears totally destroy whatever
sense of emotional stability you happen to have left, inviting you to stay,
or begging you not to leave as you progress through the unseen spirits,
astonishing terror and unexpected surprises unleashed from behind the rusty
iron bars that once housed the states most wanted criminals. Corridors
of moving skeletons, rocking walkways, a zip-line Grim Reaper and a claustrophobic
surprise deliver you to another spark emitting confrontation with a crazed
captive, who breaks free of his confinement, and charges up behind you.
Authentic metal stairs aid navigation between floors, into previously unexplored
areas of the basement, and past countless cells – through solitary confinement,
and more vicious attacks courtesy of resident Big House felons,
building to an eventual run-in with Michael Myers, and a double
Jason
Voorhees chainsaw chase-out of the Ohio State Reformatory’s
Haunted
Prison Experience entitled The Night They Came Home!
Analysis:
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DEAD ACRES: Ranked
among the best haunted houses in the country by Hauntworld Magazine,
Yahoo.com,
and others, Dead Acres is an experience you have to see to believe!
Huge silos guard the queue line area, belching flames skyward alongside
arguably the most impressive haunted attraction in the country. Right
away, an absolutely horrific surprise, and an all out chainsaw assault
wait just inside the doors of the attraction also known as the Haunted
Hoochie. Caskets give up the undead, gigantic vampire bats flap their
enormous wings, and a multitude of irate monsters burst through previously
closed doors, and lunge out of drop down windows and wall panels, grabbing
and clawing at all who dare enter. Hallways appear to be on fire,
as flames shoot up from windows, and the corridor begins to fill with smoke!
From there, a butchered pig maze leads to skeletons, clowns, a giant mechanical
serpent that springs to life right before your very eyes, and a most impressive
encounter with an animated headless horseman, that comes alive as you approach
defying your progression onward. Practically non-stop startles, both
human and pneumatic wreck havoc on your emotions. Highly aggressive
characters play off the numerous distractions springing forth from more
secret panels, and grabbing at you from the rafters overhead. Escaping
to an outdoor area provokes a number of fiends armed with various weapons
including chainsaws that actually come in contact with your legs, and maybe
a few other body parts! Fleeing into a cabin finds caged spooks desperately
attempting to escape their incarceration, and a darkened maze that yields
to a plethora of sparks and chainsaws! Skeleton lined walls, and
overwhelming loud music give way to thrashing, inverted bodies suspended
by chains from the ceiling, and a bed whose sheet covered occupant convulses
up and down. An absolute barrage of animated surprises yield to sprays
of mist, blasts of air, a near miss from a hit and run driver, and another
abominable
surprise taking the form of an induced labor, demonic childbirth, courtesy
of a demented OBGYN, and his oversized hammer! A brief darkened entrapment
awaits your emergence from a spinning vortex, where a crazed, chain-saw
madman suddenly appears out of the lightlessness, turning the power tool
on a helpless, chained-up victim who suffers the obscene fate of having
the front of his face and torso ripped open by the loudly revving device,
before exiting into a cage maze, and your eventual freedom from Dead
Acres.
Analysis:
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THE HAUNTED
HOTEL: No vacancies as usual, and they
certainly will NOT leave the light on for you! The action-packed
adventure begins in a rickety, old elevator, where a devious looking attendant,
his head wrapped in barbed wire, selects your floor, and you're on your
way. There's no escape, as the run-down hoist begins violently shaking
and thrashing about, and its panel board lights begin to flicker off and
on. A sudden power failure leaves you stranded in total darkness
before bringing your ride to a screeching halt. A few terrorizing
surprises later, and you've reached your destination. Exiting the
elevator, the intense experience continues, as you stumble upon a caged
girl being held captive by a wickedly laughing, spark emitting fiend.
Blood-spattered rooms, and vicious maniacs give rise to terrifying attacks.
A barbaric beheading takes place at the bottom of a staircase, where some
unfortunate soul has his head ripped from his body by some sort of torturous
contraption. Bloody handprints belonging to previous Hotel guests
adorn the walls, as you ascend upstairs. Subtle music gives way to
all-out assault, as "Rock-a-bye baby" succumbs to heavy metal! Floors
move, mist sprays, and air guns blast as the onslaught of strobes, sparks,
shock walls, and unimaginable persecution continues. Meet up with
Chuckles
the clown armed with a baseball bat, and the signature bathroom scene of
a "naked" girl behind a shower curtain that delivers yet another startling
surprise, while unforeseen mechanical bombshells take dead aim on the unsuspecting.
Pursuit by more relentlessly deranged savages, each equipped with their
own murderous weapon of choice, eventually leads outdoors to a spinning
vortex, double MAJOR surprise containing blackened maze, convict electrocution,
and multiple chainsaw, surprise including chase-out of The Haunted Hotel.
Analysis:
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THE HAUNTED CAVE:
A pair of cemetery plots rest quietly alongside
the decent down the steep hill towards the entrance
to Lewisburg's
Haunted Cave. Buried a hundred feet
beneath the ground in an abandoned old limestone mine lies one of the most
frightening haunts on the face of the Earth! A Gatekeeper
guards the entrance to the intimidating subterranean, while an astounding
Mortician
politely offers his services just in case some members of your group don't
survive the experience! While waiting to enter, an apparent electrical
malfunction briefly interrupts power to the lights, until a maintenance
technician equipped with a fire extinguisher comes to the rescue!
Navigating a wooden bridge-like walkway leads deep into the darkened cavern,
where lightning flashes, thunder clasps, and sudden surprises emerge from
the surrounding waters. Hidden ghouls reach out and gently touch
and grab at you as the intimidating journey forces you to fight your way
through brush that's overgrown the walkway. Mystifying fog, and flames
highlight a visit to a spooky old graveyard, where coffins deliver more
surprises, spooks reach down grasping at you from above, a near collision
with a hit and run driver is narrowly avoided, and illuminated jack-o-lanterns
light the way. Irate monsters, skeletons and flying ghosts haunt
the eerie boneyard, where an undead soul is propelled forward out of an
upright casket, and screams bloody murder as she's projected practically
directly into your path! Coffins mysteriously open and close on their
own, gravediggers loudly slam down their shovels, gunshots ring out from
a disgruntled
Undertaker, upset that you're trespassing on his hallowed
ground, and a victim runs past screaming in agony because his hands have
been set on fire!! Caged prisoners desperately plea for help, while
a Jailer-like character attempts to bag and capture a member of
your group, intending to incarcerate him with the other hostages.
Living walls are encountered through a darkened maze that yields to another
of the fence-like variety. A crazed loony repeatedly misdirects you
into several fog-filled dead ends, until the one and only escape delivers
you into the presence of The Devil himself,
seated on an elevated throne amid powerful blasts of fire shooting up all
around him! The Demon King's voice amplifies
and echoes throughout the cave, as The Prince of Darkness happily
welcomes you to Hell, and introduces you to four possible paths
of escape. One leads to a successful getaway, providing you
can locate an obscured route, while others return you back to Lucifer's
abode, where the Fallen Archangel wickedly laughs and taunts at your predicament,
and leads you into more temptation! Wire mazes, strobes, unnerving
sounds, and more fog confuse and disorient the bravest of souls, while
intimidating chainsaws, sparks, a spinning vortex, and a multitude of surprises
overwhelm your emotions, as you desperately seek to uncover that lone beaten
path that allows you to escape Satan's abomination, and The Lewisburg
Haunted Cave!
Analysis:
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HAUNTED SPOOK COOP:
Outside The Haunted Spook Coop, a great hidden surprise makes
its return engagement! Not all patrons will get to experience the
surprise, but if you happen to be one of the lucky ones, you’ll certainly
know it! Entering into the foyer, one of The Coop’s discontented
inhabitants madly pounds on the walls demanding, “Bring them to me!” while
we’re detained for the house rules, then sent into a totally dark maze.
Dead ends and uneven floors are the rule, rather than the exception, as
the journey into fear continues through the tight, blinding, air blasting,
spark emitting entrapment that finally gives way to a fog-filled cemetery.
Ghosts fly about, haunting the spooky looking graveyard, where irritable
vampires reside, and animated corpses leave their entombment, projecting
directly into your path! Legitimately built structures conceal a
plethora of villains and surprises, one so unexpectedly shocking you absolutely
MUST see it for yourselves! Now that your group size has been reduced
by one, it’s onto a multitude of mechanical assaults, a brief entrapment
in a room of doors, and a demented execution that claims the lives of a
priest and nun, as they meet their untimely demise in smoke-belching electric
chairs, courtesy of the Devil himself, who still isn’t satisfied with his
actions, and demands OUR very souls!! Still more violations result
from encounters with bats, spiders, The Ring Girl, clowns buried beneath
plastic balls, and a second maze that all lead up to another brilliant
surprise, a spinning vortex, “gunshot” attack, and chainsaw chase-out of
The
Haunted Spook Coop!
Analysis:
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FEAR FAIR: The
queue line encompasses the old western ghost town of Rockford -
original population 368, but that's been crossed out in blood, and reduced
to 17! Journey past the General Store and other village businesses,
as well as a spooky old water tower en route to a scenic view of the area
that eventually leads to the entrance of Fear Fair. The official
welcome takes place inside The Winscott Saloon, decorated with an
old player piano, and spider web covered bottles of booze. From there
it’s onto the now deserted Sheriff’s Office, where the skeletal
remains of a long forgotten prisoner is all that remains, and corpses propel
forward out of upright coffins. Justice prevailed in this once thriving
town, evidenced by the hanging of a would be horse thief, convulsing in
agony from the noose around his neck, as his life is snuffed out in the
gallows. The venture continues upstairs where a napping cowboy, sleeping
with his trusty rifle delivers a startling surprise, and more skeletal
gunslingers go on the offensive. Passageways are narrow and confining,
forcing you to duck down at times, as your navigation takes you across
Bells
Ford Bridge, where another unexpected surprise takes place, while a
werewolf unleashes an attack from out of the darkness. The smell
of popcorn is a reassuring scent, as you escape into the “safety” of the
Vondee
Theater, only to discover a horror movie marathon in progress, and
its seats occupied by the dead, or perhaps the undead, whichever the case
may be. The cinema scene foreshadows an upcoming series of authentic
structures that feature realistic recreations from the silver screen including,
Michael
Myers (Halloween);
Frankenstein;
Scream;
Hellraiser,
where Pinhead lurks amongst the décor of chains; a cabin
at Friday the 13th's
Camp Crystal Lake that offers a horrifying
encounter with Jason Voorhees; and Nightmare on Elm Street,
featuring original street signs, Freddy's face materializing through
the wall a la Dream Warrior, and a legitimate looking furnace that
smokes and actually gives off heat! An amazing surprise stems from
The
Entity revisitation, complete with impressive electrical arcs that
radiate toward you from the output of a Tesla coil!!! These movie
replications eventually give way to another big surprise, more extraordinarily
cramped corridors, an assault by a disgruntled Indian, a double
encounter with an impressive waterfall scene, and a Leatherface
chainsaw chase-out of Fear Fair.
Analysis:
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BAXTER AVENUE MORGUE:
The
Baxter Avenue adventure gets underway with a nerve wrecking seclusion
of your group in a quiet funeral parlor, alongside an open, skeleton containing
casket. Articles and photographs of
The Morgue’s “history”
adorn the walls, and prepare you to set foot inside an intimidating iron
door into the presence of mortician
Warren Vanderdark. Following
a few words of encouragement, he releases you into the facility.
Masterful lighting effects bring scenes to life as you approach, then find
them disappearing back into darkness again as you walk away. Subtle
scares come from the grasp of hands tugging at your leg, or on the back
of your shirt as you progress through darkened corridors, and from scene
to scene. Unsettling music and wicked laughter accompany the journey
through the macabre world of hospital gurneys and realistic body bags,
and into an atrocious kitchen scene, where a deranged character slams a
freezer door shut, trapping his unfortunate victim inside, as she desperately
screams for help! Blood soaked walls, and mutilated dolls decorate
a little girl’s room, as the progression through various scenes of death
continues. Clowns impede your progress, as does an irate, bloody
mouthed, human arm eating, hunchbacked creature,
who stubbornly blocks the path, and adamantly refuses to let you pass.
A spooky cemetery scene where some ungodly ceremony restores life to a
blood thirsty corpse leads to a ghost apparition of a surgeon operating
on a distraught patient, a short trap door maze, and a surprise encounter
with a blonde girl “innocently” admiring herself in the mirror. Body
vaults open and close of their own volition, as you pass through an upright
coffin, to a confrontation with a spark emitting fiend en route to a double
chainsaw, false finish including, chase-out of The Baxter Avenue Morgue.
Analysis:
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USS
NIGHTMARE: A brand new beginning for 2007 is
waiting aboard America's renowned Haunted Steamboat, formerly known as
the William S. Mitchell. Gather your group in the designated
Mitchell
museum
area for a seasonal photo opportunity that soon takes a wicked detour,
and unleashes a startling surprise. Once the picture taking is over,
it's time to get reacquainted with the Captain, his hideous looking
crew, and trademark Rat Girl character. The first of three
encounters with a giant Impaler (13 foot tall animated, growling monster)
finds the beast resting quietly in his favorite section of the wrecked
ship. Next time, you're not quite so lucky as the dejected behemoth
has awakened, ferociously snarling, and waving a deadly spear in one hand,
while clutching the torso of a recent victim's body in the other!
Fantastic, startling sounds accompany the numerous unexpected events that
take place on board The Nightmare. Bodies spin, roast over
an open coal fire, and spring forth out of caskets as the adventure continues
through the bowels of the old wounded vessel. Chained lockers shake
and vibrate on their own, as irate crewmen dangle from overhead pipes,
and crawl along the decks shouting warnings pertaining to their devious
commander, and pointing out what he's already done to them. Iron
gratings are utilized to navigate between levels of the battered old paddlewheeler,
exposing you to outdoor elements, where a glance down reveals the unmistakable
sight of the muddy waters of the mighty Ohio River down below! Traverse
the kitchen area, where freezers are stocked with body bags, and enraged
butchers are more than willing to "chop you up," en route to a third and
final encounter with the notorious Impaler, that finds him madder and hungrier
than ever! An extravagant, mind-boggling SURPRISE is about to unfold!
Will you become his next victim? If you're fortunate enough to escape,
you'll meet The Captain's daughter Anna, Clowns, Mummies, Vampires,
a fog spraying exterminator-like villain, and a fiend wearing a miner's
helmet, that blinds you with its bright, glaring beam! Experiences
include a spinning vortex, floors that "crunch" beneath your feet, undead
corpses rising up off of gurneys, an interactive Dreamalator
segment,
and two more huge, new SURPRISES building up to a chainsaw chase-out of
USS
Nightmare.
Analysis:
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| PICKLED BROTHERS FREAK SHOW: An added attraction outside USS Nightmare displaying strange occurrences in the animal world, and featuring nightly performances of oddities such as, sword swallowing, weapon juggling, walking on glass, the dreaded bed of nails, and a person hammering a nail into his nose! Cost is $6, or $5 in combination with USS NIGHTMARE. | |||||||||||||||||
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THE
MIDDLETOWN HAUNTED TRAIL: An all new trail
is on tap for 2007. Many memorable scenes have been retained including
favorites like Slaughterhouse where bodies are dismembered by a
giant table saw, while a chainsaw packing lunatic picks up any leftovers,
Witches
tending
to their bubbling cauldrons, and that awesome encounter with
The Headless
Horseman! Complementing these is the addition of Area 49
- an action zone nearly beyond description, but consisting of overwhelming
sounds and alarms, and featuring attacks by several animated monsters,
an alligator, and an additional surprise you'll have to discover for yourselves!
Stay alert while exiting the barracks to avoid stepping in the path of
the blinding headlights belonging to a crazed car, blasting its horn, as
it nearly runs you over! The woods are inhabited by fiends wearing
gas masks, another shooting flames from a blowtorch, and we all know the
theme from Halloween can mean only one thing - Michael Myersis
about to claim another victim! On the horizon lies a spooky cemetery
inhabited by a madman foaming at the mouth, then a picket fence-like maze,
and a pair of darkened school buses, filled with death and evil. You'll
also encounter an insane woman proudly displaying the head of recent victim
like it's her most prized trophy, a creepy junkyard (a.k.a. auto
graveyard), a spinning vortex, and an intense scene of blinding strobes
and deafening music, highlighted by a bloody-mouthed, flesh-eating creature
devouring a corpse near the exit of this one mile of night terrors known
better as The Middletown Haunted Trail.
Analysis:
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DR.
PSYCHO'S HAUNTED ESTATE: The estate is
simply magnificent! Once again, our favorite Haunt at The Land
of Illusion! The assault begins as you approach the Haunted
Estate, and doesn't let up! The old house illuminates with flashes
of lightning as you make your way through an intimidating cemetery.
Of course, the journey is accompanied by just the right music, as if the
setting itself isn't unnerving enough! Skeletons make use of a hearse
to deliver another casket to its final resting place, while the poor undead
soul inside struggles to free himself before he's buried alive! Bodies
escape their graves, while more chained coffins shake and vibrate vigorously
on their own! Animated corpses spring to life, a gravedigger prepares
another earthen tomb, and a recently hanged victim thrashes about in the
trees above, a noose clutching at his throat and choking the life right
out of him! More animated creatures, as well as a chainsaw wielding
madman descend upon you from all directions! Just loads of surprises
already, and you've yet to enter the Estate itself! As you
finally make your way inside, meticulously decorated rooms are just jammed
with still more shocking surprises and scares, most notably one so perfectly
timed you'll just have to experience it for yourselves! Various rooms
of the spooky old manner are visited, including the kitchen, dining room,
laboratory, and bedroom complete with a levitating bed and a skeleton being
propelled from a wheelchair! Werewolves howl, giant, caged rats struggle
for their freedom, and then, of course there's Dr. Psycho himself
! In addition to this mad scientise's diabolical experiments, you'll
encounter a light vortex, and a locked cellar door that restrains some
long forgotten soul, trapped for eternity inside Dr. Psycho's Haunted
Estate.
Analysis:
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TEMPLE
OF TERROR: A mysterious door, covered with
ancient Egyptian markings slides open allowing entrance into the Temple
of Terror. Out of the darkness, surprises begin the moment you
step inside! Quite a few species reside in the Temple - mummified
bodies, some still clinging to life, and the largest bats known to man,
seen hanging upside down, violently flapping their enormous wings.
Creatures whiz by overhead, and a huge, bloody-mouthed impaler springs
to life right before your very eyes, clutching his spear in one hand, and
his most recent victim in his other! Which member of your group will
be next? Navigation is difficult across a wooden sway bridge, and
through a spinning vortex. Witness the tortured remains of a skeletal
victim thrashing violently on a bed of nails, and other wicked monsters
that readily terrorize you while inside the tomb. Skeletons, chained
behind bars come to life and grab at you, while deadly cobras protect these
evil catacombs, spraying their tragically poisonous venom at all who dare
to invade the Temple of Terror.
Analysis:
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KILLER
KLOWNS: The name here says it all.
If coulrophobia (an extreme fear of clowns) is among your phobias, this
isn't the place for you. Clowns, clowns and more clowns attempt to
engage you in various activities. Some offer invitations to play
games with them, or threaten to "get you," while others just seem mesmerized
by your presence. One "Killer klown" pops up seemingly out of nowhere
through a trap door in the floor! Circus music fills the air as these
carnival crazies make fools of us all. Disorienting strobes, and
a spinning vortex or two disrupt your equilibrium, and prepare you for
a most confusing chain link fence maze filled with deceptive dead ends.
More of these festival freaks occupy the corridors of this labyrinth, creating
distractions, that serve to further the entrapment. One climbs up
on top of the cage, while more joking jesters wickedly laugh and
taunt at our predicament. Another offers to share a secret, but I
wouldn't be too eager to take him up on that offer if I were you!
Beyond the maze lies a "play room" filled with plastic balls and more hidden
hooligans, then a curtain maze, Jack in the Box, a shrinking hallway, and
one final SURPRISE just as you think you've safely escaped all the Killer
Klowns!
Analysis:
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LAND OF ILLUSION - OVERALL EXPERIENCE:
The Land of Illusion is everything you'd want in Halloween entertainment
and more! $30 gets you four of the most impressive haunts around,
each uniquely themed, and reasonably priced at only $7.50 each!!!
Elaborate, animated props, too numerous to count are featured throughout,
and complemented with fantastic soundtracks and lighting effects that challenge
all the senses. Bring a date, bring mom and dad, bring the kids,
bring the whole family and feel the warmth of the bonfire and enjoy a snack
from the Creepy Cafe while you wait to enter the attractions.
Visit the gift shop, or let your friends hear what they're missing during
the live radio broadcasts! In addition to the unmatched 4-venue
haunt, Land of Illusion has created quite a unique atmosphere for
people to come and just have fun. Not only do you get to experience
all the traditional scares presented in a most professional manner, but
it's a great place to just hang out with friends! As is customary,
many of the profits from past years have been reinvested in the haunts
themselves. As a result, they're bigger and better than ever!
The
Trail and Haunted Estate are still our personal favorites,
but improvements across the board are evident. Even if you've been
here before, you'll find plenty of new surprises ready to scare the pants
off of you! Where else can you find this much to do all at the same
location? One can only admire the efficiency with which LOI
handles such large crowds, and the energy level maintained by their actors,
who tirelessly repeat their performances basically non-stop over a four
hour period. Waiting areas are sheltered from the weather, and feature
entertainment in the form of various horror segments broadcast on several
TV's. It's all designed to make the time spent waiting in line more
enjoyable, and each one is personalized to its individual haunt.
So what are you waiting for? Join the crowd at Middletown's Land
of Illusion! HINT: Ohio Valley Haunts recommends arriving
early, visiting on Friday nights when crowds are a little smaller, and
suggests hitting the trail first as the line forms early and gets longer
as the night goes on. If you do happen to run out of time, tickets
are honored throughout the season, so take advantage of the savings by
purchasing the 4-Haunt Killer Combo ticket.
Overall Analysis:
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THE DENT SCHOOLHOUSE:
Intimidation begins the second you first lay eyes on the
The Dent Schoolhouse.
Broken windows and doors of the old building are boarded up, and a lone
school bus stands guard in the courtyard just outside, it's warning lights
eerily blinking and flashing in the night. The adventure begins in
a dark, spooky graveyard inhabited by Damien
Reaper, who derives great pleasure in burying people alive!
Rest in Peace! Leaving the cemetery leads to an up close and personal
look at Dent District school bus 1031, then into the facility itself, where
vice principal Pruitt registers you for class, and explains the rules and
regulations. From there, it's onto the school nurse, who's busy tending
to a severely injured student. She unleashes the first of many surprises
you're about to experience, before sending you on. Mild locker and
bookcase mazes foreshadow a much wickeder, more unnerving counterpart that's
yet to come. Visits to classrooms, the science lab, library, kitchen
and cafeteria contain personalized scares, and give rise to various encounters
with diabolical members of the school staff. Chained cabinets, and
pots and pans jiggle about of their own volition, and bookcases appear
to be falling over on top of you. The basement plays host to
Doctor Carver's shop class, displaying the gruesome sight of a girl whose
head and legs still move about even though her midsection's been bisected
by the still turning blade of the treacherous teacher's table saw!
The school theme continues in the downstairs quarters with the debut of
a brand new prom dance scene, and a couple of confrontations with The
Janitor! "Exiting" the school into a wooded area exposes you
to more dangers in the form of hungry werewolves, a zombie infested funeral
parlor, and a schizo imprisoned psych ward, featuring a double surprise,
as well as an electrocution. Other scenes of death.follow, including
skeletons, a vampiress, a morgue that delivers a haunting surprise from
a sheet covered corpse lying on a gurney, and a coffin bound with chains,
inside of which some undead soul struggles to break free! Bloodzo's
Funhouse, also starring Fatso the clown is back for an encore
performance, that gives way to a darkened hallway containing a huge surprise,
and the aforementioned claustrophobic maze, en route to a spinning vortex,
hillbilly chainsaw false finish, and air gun shoot-out of The Dent Schoolhouse.
Analysis:
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